Staying in or going out?

As I’ve gotten older I’ve realised it’s ok to not feel as if I need to go out and socialise all of the time.

I want to take you back to 2013-2014. I had a difficult time making friends and felt lonely. All I wanted was a group of people I felt part of.

I bit the bullet and joined Meetup. A website where groups of people organise social events depending on a common interest. I joined a dining club and another for people in their 20s and 30s. I cannot begin to tell you the number of times I got to the carpark and then lost all courage at the last minute.

I have always found small talk difficult and do this thing where I tug my sleeve or do not give much about myself away so I’m still really proud to this day that I managed to step outside of my comfort zone. I met my boyfriend and some great girls who I consider yo be my close friends.

I still go to the Christmas drinks at the dining club but the thought of actually going to another meetup event now really scares me. Maybe because I have what I needed from it or maybe because I know what makes me feel uncomfortable in social situations.

I find conversations with large groups of people difficult and can get lost in the noise. I no longer see this as a negative. I prefer to get to know people in smaller groups

I like to get home in good time. The thought of transport connections not linking up makes me quite nervous, particularly when it is late. I can get a bit twitchy if I feel the conversation goes on too long. This isn’t the case if I have my car but if i have gone to London. To help with this, I do tell the person I am meeting I will need to leave at a certain time.

My work keeps me busy. Sometimes I am just too tired to go out during the week. There are times I have to travel for work and when I’m home I prefer to use the time to relax and recharge. I do worry this makes me seem rude but we all have to protect our time and energy.to tackle this, I go to a jumping g fitness class. It has become part of my routine and feel great afterwards

Going out all the time is expensive. During 2013-2014 my bank account was under a lot of pressure and now I know what my mind can handle in terms of going out I know how much to budget for each month. I also have friends where we can spend time at each others houses. This not only makes me feel more relaxed but is kinder to my purse

I am getting better at saying No to people. My true friends will understand when I am unable to make something.i do not have the pressure of going out to impress strangers, which became the case with Meetup.

Everybody responds to social situations differently. It is good to meet new people but remember you should not feel the pressure to be on form all of the time.